Monday, December 2, 2013

So Open About Failure/12 POUNDS!

Yesterday I wrote my first blog post since August.  I've written less than 15 posts in 2013.  In 2011 I wrote 77 blog posts.

Before writing the post yesterday, I considered not doing it.  I thought to myself that maybe I should get started and if things really take off, then I'll start blogging again.

Some people think it's odd that I am so open about my weight loss journey.  I also think that there are some people that may have saw my post yesterday and thought at least 1 of a few things:

  1. Here we go again.
  2. She hasn't done anything in months, what can she have to write about?
  3. How can she be so open about failure?

I know that my actions haven't been behind my words of the desire to be healthier.  Unfortunately, the only thing I was putting where my mouth is was the food.

But I don't consider any of this failure.  A wall, yes.  Stumbling block, yes.  Hurdle, yes.  But failure, no.

The mistake we have all made in the past is to not take the steps to get where we need to be.  And having set backs is one of the steps....for some of us, 5 of the steps - maybe even more. 

Others I think wonder why I put this all out there because surely it is embarrassing to be at the stage I am now and need so desperately to get healthier.  Well, the answer to that is.....maybe a little bit. 

But, then I get an email like this one and I'm no longer embarrassed...I'm motivated. 

Hey Jennifer! I saw your posts today and wanted to say how happy I am for you. I KNOW that it is very emotional to hit that point and feel like you have to start over and that it needs to be done. I hit that point back in September at a doctor's visit. I knew that I had let my weight sneak back up and that I was always feeling miserable, but for someone else to see how much I weighed floored me. I came home and cried my eyes out and then made some decisions. I decided that I was tired of my body hurting, of being so tired, of not enjoying activities with my kids, of hating my clothes not to mention how uncomfortable they were, and the list goes on. But I was also tired of feeling like I had always failed. There is so much emotion behind everything we do. I had to face that I am definitely an emotional eater. "Having a bad day, let's bake brownies!" Lol! I had never thought if myself as someone that avoids things until I took a hard look at that. Anyway... my whole point of all of this is that I understand the emotional ups and downs and want you to know that you have my support! Find what works for YOU! I realized that I need someone to TELL me what to do. So I asked my doctor for help. I also know that I am a person that enjoys organization, so I made myself my own binder full of everything for my weight loss journey. And I decorated Cheezy I know, but it works for me! I plastered motivational quotes that I love all over it! And I have sections for measurements, food planning and recipes, spiritual wellness, papers from doctor visits, anything that is important to me regarding this. Be happy for yourself for making this decision! I am happy for you because I know how good it feels to start feeling proud of myself again. I want that for you as well.

What an awesome email.  I can't tell you how much it meant to me.  And it really points to the reason why I don't let embarrassment stop me from posting about my journey.  Because almost all of us have been on the same journey.  We've all thought we were ready and then made choices that said otherwise.  People hit THAT POINT at different time frames.  And like me, a lot of people had made great progress, just to slide backwards like they were on a steep rollercoaster.  But the only thing that says is that we know what to do to be successful. 

So, with that being said....I'm going to tell the world an embarrassing fact I discovered this morning...

Since I've started my new job, I've gained TWELVE POUNDS.  I haven't been in this new job for 3 full months!  If I wasn't serious yesterday when I said I was getting this thing started, sh&t got real today. 

Sunday, December 1, 2013

12 Faces of Jennifer

I have been on vacation for the past week and I've gotten so much done.  I have said before that I kind of run on beginnings and endings.  One of the things that I did on this vacation is finish my last assignment for my Philosophy class, my first semester back to school. 

The other thing I did was prepare for the beginning of my next phase in my fitness journey.  Technically, that phase is starting tomorrow when I also return to work. 

I would like to make a list why it is important to make the change that I'm seeking.  This way when I start to sway from my goal, I can look back at this post for a reminder of what I'm looking to accomplish.
  1. No more acid reflux (this goes as #1 simply because I am in so much pain RIGHT NOW because of it)
  2. Move better
  3. Better mood
  4. Lessen the chance of Diabetes
  5. Cuter clothes
  6. Less expensive clothes
  7. Feel accomplished
  8. Spend more time with my friends
  9. Not have to take so much medicine
  10. Just feel better overall
  11. Some other reasons that even this open book isn't willing to put in print
Today I'm starting a monthly tradition.  On the first of every month, I'm going to take a face picture.  Looking forward to seeing the progress.  I took it kind of spur of the moment today, so it isn't a great one.  But, that wasn't suppose to be the point anyway.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Changes & Slow Progress

Tonight I attended my 9th Weight Watcher's meeting in a row.

In those 9 weeks I've lost exactly 2.8 pounds.

Some would be upset by this.  Discouraged.

A lot of people would probably quit.

Very few would put it in writing on a blog to be published out on the internet, where nothing can ever really be deleted.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't wish that number was bigger.  Obviously, I am doing this, paying for this because I would like to see a difference.

And anyone that knows me, knows that I've been analyzing this.  Analyzing my progress.

First off, here is what I can say.  I'm no heavier than I was 10 weeks ago.  If I had not been going to Weight Watcher meetings for the past 9 weeks, I am most certain that I would not be able to say that.  Before I walked back through the WW doors, I was on a very fast track to creating a new "heaviest I've ever been."

While my weight loss number is not big, I definitely have created better habits.  Some that I don't even believe I'm aware of.  Before I stepped on the scale this evening, I said to Kelly (the gal weighing me), "I don't know how this is going to turn out; I've been on vacation."  Not only have I been on vacation, but I've been on vacation by myself.  Time spent alone is some of the most dangerous time for me.  I have a much easier time exercising will power when there is someone around to hold me accountable.

Kelly's response, "Well.  You stayed exactly the same, so you are doing something right."

I think most people would agree that to be on vacation and to not gain, even an ounce, is a great accomplishment.  Which means, while I feel like I've over done it, somewhere I've subconsciously recognized what my limits should be.

I am not upset by my slow progress.

I feel like to be upset by my progress would happen only if I am comparing myself to others and their progress.  And I'm just not going to do that to myself.

Weight Watchers puts a lot of focus on routines, and I agree that it is a huge part of my failure or success. 24 months ago, I had lost 50 pounds.  I attribute that to two things:

  • Planning (meals)
  • Regular and rigorous activity
A change 21 months ago created a lack of stability and I never got control over it.

It was 9 weeks ago that I finally got enough stability that I felt I could start attending the weekly meetings. But, I still have been undergoing A LOT of change.

A little over a month ago I moved from the account I had spent the last 20 months on (and that had me running ragged - not in the good activity kind of way) to a temporary assignment for myself.  This change was greatly welcome.  But, it was a new wrench in the stability of my routine.

This change was easier to get used to than the original account.  However, it was temporary.  For most of the month of July, I had no idea of how long this temp assignment would be.  That in itself creates some unease and stress.

I am now getting ready to start my next new assignment.  This one is considered permanent.  On Wednesday, when I return from my vacation, I will be reporting to my new team as a Team Leader.  It is a job I'm familiar with on an account that I've actually taken phone calls for (I work in a call center).

There is stability on the horizon!

I will be joining the gym again this week, as it is right next door to the building I will be working in.  I know that having my own place at work with my own team and my own tasks, control over my own habits (I know you would think that I always had this...but if you only new...), and then adding the activity that I have soooooo loved is going to make the difference to start pushing the needle towards great improvement.

I am adding school to the agenda which will be a challenge for me, but I am sure that the positive effects of finally feeling back at home at work and the physical activity will make me successful in my classes as well.

And finally, I know that right now I don't have the most active blog or fitness page...and I apologize to those who follow me that are looking for more.  I do believe that is another change that is coming on real soon within the coming weeks.  But for right now, I've decided to be happy with posting as I feel inspired and I hope that everyone feels that when I do post, I have something good to say.  :o)

Thursday, June 20, 2013

About Weight Watchers

I've been surprised this week how many people aren't familiar with Weight Watchers. This is not to say that I'm surprised by how many people haven't ever tried it, but that actually have no idea (I don't mean that to sound judgmental) what it's about.  I decided that before I go any further....I simply MUST explain.

Let me start off by saying, there are a lot of methods out there for people to try and they are going to work differently based on the person trying it.

I work in a phone center as a trainer.  In almost every customer service driven conversation I bring up the point that not all of our customers are going to call us with the same level of frustration - so the type of customer service technique we use will be different depending on the call.

I believe the same goes for weight loss.  What's going to work for me might not work for you and vise versa.

That being said, in my own experience....even despite my falling off the wagon...I believe that for a large portion of the general public, Weight Watchers is the best choice.

So, here is how Weight Watchers works.

The Plan

I am going to tell this slightly out of what I would consider order.  I want to give you a full idea of the experience, but I also know that what you really want to know is, "What can you eat on Weight Watchers!!!!!????!!!!"

I get asked this question a lot, "Can you really eat that on Weight Watchers?"

And the answer is......YES!!!!

Now, you might be thinking right now, "But haven't told us what "that" is," and you are exactly right.  I haven't.  Because it doesn't matter what is on the plate; if it's edible you CAN eat it while on Weight Watchers.

One of my favorite responses I've heard to this very annoying question of can you really eat that on Weight Watchers is this:

"I can eat whatever I want on Weight Watchers.  I just chose to not do it with a shovel any longer."

Weight Watchers is not about telling you what you can and can't eat.  And I believe that is why it works, at least for me.  Weight Watchers is about learning moderation and making choices.

Every member, regardless of type of membership, is given a Daily Points Allowance.  This allowance is based on gender, age, weight, and some other medical questions such as "are you pregnant".

All foods have a points value.  Most fruits and vegetables are zero points.  The points of all other foods are based on it's nutritional value.  The factors that  play in are fat, carbs, fiber, and protein.

There is no counting calories on Weight Watchers, because not all calories are the same.  Let's look at two products and what their points values are going to be.  I'm going to figure up Lays Honey BBQ Potato Chips first.

Fat:  10g

Carbs:  15g

Fiber:  1g

Protein:  2g

Points Value:  4 points per serving

Serving Size:  @ 15 chips

Then lets take a look at a similar snack I had this evening.

Fat:  3g

Carbs:  23g

Fiber:  3g

Protein:  2g

Points Value:  4 points

Serving Size:  27 chips

I took these nutritional facts off the website.  For the Special K Cracker Chips, the information on the box indicated once I figured them up that they were 3 points per serving.  I am going to touch back on this again pretty soon.

Put you can see here...that they are fairly similar in both nutritional facts and points (for the most part).  However, one of them lets you eat considerably more (almost double) and are more filling so would be the better choice.

You can use your Daily Points anyway that you would like.  The only rule is:

If you bite it - write it!

The key is to track.  As long as you stay within your points and track everything you eat, you can eat whatever you want.  If you would like to eat cake for dinner, okay (is it recommended...not often, but the point is that you shouldn't feel restricted in your lifestyle).

Okay...back to my point above about the difference in the Special K Cracker Chips points from online versus the box.  They key isn't to be perfect, the key is to make sure you track everything you eat.  It's about being conscious of what you are putting in your mouth.  As long as you are tracking, are honest, and stay within your will lose weight, even if you are off a point or two here or there.

Every person, regardless of gender, age, weight, etc...also gets 49 Weekly Points to be used however they want.  They don't have to be used at all, but because Weight Watchers recognizes that we have special occasions or just simply harder days than others, there are some extra points there to buffer.  And you can still lose weight even if you eat them every week.

Then, on top of your Daily Points and your Weekly Points, there are Activity Points. These are earned based on how active you are in the day.  I wear a device that monitors my activity level and then tells me how many points I earned.  

I have the choice to use those points and eat more or not to.  If I do, I will still lose weight.  

Types of Membership

Nowadays, there are many different membership options.  However, I am most familiar with these two:

  • Online
  • Monthly Pass (Unlimited Monthly Meetings)

Up until now, my experience has been with the online version and I was successful.  It was the same as a meeting in regards to the plan.  The only difference was that I weighed myself at home and put it into the computer and I didn't have an audience once a week that was there simply to give and receive praise based on pounds lost.  ***There are other differences, but at the stage that I was in, these were the only ones that directly affected me at the time.***

My understanding is that there is sometimes a "start-up fee" at the beginning of your memberships that meetings are included, but I've honestly never seen this in place. Very often they have a "sign up free" incentive going on.  I believe on the door this week I saw that you can sign up $1.00.  Then you just pay a monthly fee.

The Weigh-in

When I go into weigh-in, it is almost as private as a polling booth.  Not quite, but I assure you...nobody knows your business.  You have a booklet that you give the person weighing you in and they put a little sticker in it that tells your new weight, how much you lost or gained, and what your daily points target is.  The weight does not show up on the scale like yours at home.  It is on a computer facing away from you and everyone else around except the Weight Watchers Leader.  I do occasionally hear them say how much a person lost...but I haven't heard the gain...and I have never known how much someone weighs.


There are a lot of tools to assist you in your lifestyle change.  There is the online tool where you can get tons of information.  You can track, build recipes, and chat with people about your experiences.  There is a calculator that you can take with you grocery shopping, or really have with you at all times, so that you can figure up the points value of foods.  There is the Weight Watchers app.  Of course, they also have cookbooks, a magazine, and exercise videos.

I hope that I've done a good job at describing what Weight Watchers is about.  I know that I have left a lot is just such a huge topic.  However, it is the easiest method I have found to be successful.  Not that this lifestyle change should be easy, but the more comfortable you are with a program, the more likely you are going to follow it.  This approach is so incredibly comfortable, you will wonder why you didn't do it before.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Week 1 Weigh-in & Taco Rolls Recipe Review

Today's blog is brought to you by the number:

Yes...that is right.  Today was my weigh-in following my first week back at Weight Watchers and I lost 3 pounds.  This was very exciting for me.  Judging by my own scale at home, I was counting on 3 or 4; I was very pleased.

Here are a few things that I attribute my first week's weight loss too:

  1. I tracked the majority of my days before they arrived.  That way I was not trying to decide in real time what I should eat to stay within my points.
  2. I drank A LOT of water!  I mean a LOT!


I didn't have to be perfect in order to lose the 3 pounds.  On Saturday at my family's Father's Day cookout, I ate two different kinds of potato dishes.  A potato salad and also a party potato dish that had a white cheese and sour cream in it.  It was delicious!  But, I was just careful to make sure that I only had 1 spoonful of both.  

Then on Sunday I made one of Josh's favorites which originated from the Hungry Girl cookbooks.   However, for whatever reason, even though I use whole wheat noodles and instead of spaghetti sauce I use a can of diced tomatoes, I just can't get my Spaghetti Tacos to be within a points range that I am comfortable with.  It might have to be a once a month kind of splurge.  

Basically, my week was full of bell peppers, cucumbers, bananas, and apples which are all a zero points value so I can eat as many of them as I want.  So, my approach is to eat smaller portions of what I like to eat and then fill up the rest of the way with the fruits and vegetables.  

And when I say a lot of water....I really do mean this.  I don't mean more than I was drinking...I mean a lot for even the regular water drinker.  In order to make sure that I get my daily requirement (over my daily requirement) I take a 74 oz jug of water to work.  And I usually have that done by 2:00ish.  Then I will get more water from the vending machine.  I spend a lot of time in the bathroom.  

So, in keeping up with the success book that I bought last week, I got a Bravo sticker in the meeting today for losing the 3 pounds and then sharing with the group what I did.  

While getting star stickers was something that we got when we were in the early stages of grade school and may seem childish to some, it really is nice to be able to put the sticker in your book and as time progresses I will be able to see all my successes.  I am bound to have "down" weeks, and having this visual will help remind me of what I can do.

I should also note, the meeting went much better than it did last week.  The regular leader was there and I really liked her.  The couple I was not comfortable with was not there and there were some newer faces.  Only about 4 that I recognized from last week.  I still don't know if this is the right meeting for me and am tempted to visit the Thursday morning meeting with my friend Stephanie...but I'm going to give it a few more weeks.

Recipe Review - Taco Rolls

I was really excited to try this recipe.  One of the things that Josh and I like to make from my Hungry Girl recipes are little cups made out of wonton wraps.  We fill them with things like salad, meatballs, sloppy joes...

I was looking for some wonton wraps at the grocery store and found them next to egg roll wraps.  I was thinking to myself what I could do with these.  I decided to buy a pack and I was going to fill them with chicken with either bbq sauce or salsa in them.  Of course with cheese in  mine and then Josh's without.  

As mentioned earlier, Josh and I had Spaghetti Tacos on Sunday night.  I always over-estimate how  much meat I need, so I had lots left over.  I decided to use this meat to make some Taco Rolls.  

  • 1 cup of taco meat (has diced tomatoes mixed in)
  • 6 egg roll wraps
  • 1/4 cup of shredded cheese

Put a spoonful of the meat on a flat egg roll wrap.  Spread a little cheese on top.  I did also put lettuce in mine, but we agreed that it should be left out next time.  

Roll the wrap up like an egg roll.  Bake in the oven for 10 minutes at 400 degrees.  

They were delicious.  A total redemption on my failed recipe from Sunday.  And they were 4 points a piece and they were filling.  

If you try the recipe, be sure to stop back in and tell us how you liked it.  

Hope everyone has a good week....until the next post.  

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Oopsies - Recipe Review

I'm starting this post before the first batch is even out of the oven.  At this point, I'm not sure if by the end I'm going to say I like the recipe or not.  But, I figured that I could already start by telling you what I DO know.  ;o)

Recipe as taken off Facebook:

  • 3 eggs
  • 3.5 oz of cream cheese
  • pinch of salt
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder

Whip egg whites together with salt until stiff.  Should be stiff enough that you can turn bowl upside down.

Mix egg yolks, cream cheese, & baking powder well.

Fold egg whites into the yolk mix; try to keep air in them.

Put 6 or 8 oopsies on a baking sheet.  Bake at 300 degrees for 25 minutes or until golden brown.

My Experience with the recipe:

First off, I didn't know how to "fold" eggs.  So I watched a video similar to this one:

Seems easy enough.

I separated my ingredients and got started.  I had two white plastic bowls that I generally use for my baking.  

Now, I use egg substitutes - so I will now think of the egg part of the recipe as this (also keep in mind that I'm an amateur - I am sure there are other ways to think of my measurements) :
  • 9 tbs of egg substitute
  • 9 tbs of egg white substitute
I started whipping the egg whites and salt by hand and started wondering very quickly if I was doing it right.  I was using a fork since I don't have a wisk.  So, I stopped and came back in to watch this video: I learned what I was doing wrong so far was using a plastic bowl.  I started over in a metal bowl.  Kept whipping by hand.  Still felt like there was a better way.  Wondered if I could use my beater.  Are beating eggs and whipping eggs the same?

So, I came back to the living room and looked up a new video that says I CAN use my mixer.  So, I did that and that cut down a lot of my time.

I then put my cream cheese (9 tbsp) into my egg substitute and mixed that.  Then did my folding.  

I used my cookie scoop to drop the mixture on my pan the first time.  I felt like they were a little small if I was going to want to use them as bread.  

I tried this one and am actually surprised by the realization I had.  It tasted like a flat version of my egg muffins.  (surprisingly, I haven't done a blog on my egg muffins - or at least not one that I can find.  I'm shocked!)  I don't know why I was surprised that they tasted like egg...were fluffy in the middle in middle.  Not what I was expecting.

Since I thought they were too small, I did another pan a little bigger.  These didn't turn out at all.  I couldn't even get them off the pan.  It is soaking now. 

So overall, I'm considering this a recipe fail.  I guess oopsie is right!  I will give it a second attempt in the future - but am guessing this isn't going to be a favorite in our household.  I'm so disappointed, as I was so excited to be trying this recipe this weekend.  I will have another one for you in the next couple of that is just an idea that came to me in the grocery store.  

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Back to Weight Watchers

I was very excited about my plans last night.  Even more excited that they happened.  ;o)  Nothing kept me away, including myself.

Last night I made my first (of many regular) appearances at Weight Watchers.  Through the meeting I was thinking about the blog I could do on this.  You are probably thinking you are about to read of feelings of fear and embarrassment, venturing into new activities, learning so much already....and you will get a little of that.  We'll start there.

I arrived the requested 30 minutes early since (although I had been paying) I was technically a newbie.  So, I got a new plan guide, new pocket book, new weigh-in pamphlet, and a new canvas bag.  I also weighed in and while I was scared to learn exactly how much I had gained since I "fell off the wagon," I learned that I had not gained it ALL back.  Although to be truthful, damn near close.  

They let me know that the regular Tuesday night leader was not there and there was a sub from a neighboring town.  I met her and she was very nice and positive.  She showed me some of the new tools.  There was one in particular that I did want, but had to buy the kit in order to have it.  The kit did have several other things that I could use, so I did decide to buy it.  

Here's where we actually get off topic of losing weight.  I went and sat down and there was only 1 other person there.  Other people started to file in and along came this couple.  They were very loud and obnoxious.  I believe the man may have actually been making fun of the woman next to him.  It probably started with him just trying to be funny and since he wasn't, she didn't respond as such.  Instead of stopping he just continued, making her feel uncomfortable.

Then the leader came in and introduced herself.  You should have seen the look on the woman's face.  

The leader introduced herself and then said she wanted to start out by reviewing what had been discussed in last week's meeting.  I obviously wasn't thought I could not participate in the conversation.  Apparently last week's topic was about changing up your breakfast.  Apparently no one had tried anything new because when she asked she got nothing but....

**crickets**  **crickets**  **crickets**

It is at this point that I should explain to you what I do for a living in case you are new to my blog.  I am a trainer.  A very large portion of my day is to stand in front of people and inform/teach on a topic.  Along with that I must have the people I'm training engaged.  That engagement is what drives me...the more involvement I get, the better the lesson is going to go.  

In your own class, you build bonds with the people in your class.  Especially when you have a 6 week course like I do or (hopefully) a lifelong course like a Weight Watchers leader has.  

For the most part, I find that the involvement in the classes I teach is plenty.  It's when I cover someone else's class that I come head to head with the silence.  All trainers/ leaders build rapport, a bond so to speak, with the classes they start and the people in the groups learn the format of the original leader.  When someone else steps in, it's awkward.  So, no one knows how to communicate.

Because I've experienced this...I couldn't be quiet...even though I hadn't been apart of last week's conversation I broke the silence.  About the 3rd or 4th time that she asked about doing something different, I raised my hand and said, "Well, it's been 6 months or more since I've come to a meeting and I'm here now."  

I got a very grateful look and she applauded me.  

Now, in regards to the obnoxious couple - they were so bad...I wanted to get up and leave.  They were nasty to the leader...nasty to other members.  I am going to give the Tuesday night meetings a couple of chances...hoping that the couple isn't consistent in coming.  Also to test the group in regards to participation.  I am very social and like to share ideas.  This group didn't seem as though they were going to be very eager to talk.  We'll see how it goes for a couple of weeks.

In the meantime....this is my mindset...

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Part of the Journey

There are many of you that have been reading my blog since it started in February of 2011.  You've just waited a really long time since my last post.  Over a year in fact.  And it was in that one that I thought I was making a comeback.

There are many new people that have come into my life since that post on May 4, 2012, and really even before then since I hadn't blogged consistently since September of 2011.  So, for those that are new, here is the back-story.

Back in October of 2010, I looked like this:

I had always been someone who wasn't afraid to have their picture taken; in fact I had always liked it.  At this time I found that I had started to dread having a camera near me.

Because of this, the cause that my weight and health had on relationships, and things that I wanted to accomplish, I decided to set on a healthy path.  Read more about my decision to lose 100 pounds on my page, "Why Fitness?"

I did things like join Weight Watchers online, join the Riverplex and fall in love with Turbo Kick, 

ran my first race ever,

joined a woman's running club, 

and lead workout challenges

And all these things made me very successful.  By the time I ran The Steamboat Classic I had lost 50 pounds.  And eventually I looked like this:

From there I plateaued.  I gained and lost the same 3 pounds over and over again.  Then in October of 2011, I got a new job.  It required a lot of hours and I thought I was doing good by putting those hours in.  I felt that this was temporary; if I put in the needed time (a lot of time) in the beginning the time when things would become easier and less hours being needed would come faster.

Problem was, things didn't become easier and things didn't slow down.  My job is ever changing and I spend 98% of my scheduled hours up in front of a class training.  I am on stage 100% of that time.  This does not leave time in the normal work day to become familiar with changes and do the everyday administrative tasks.  

I have, however, come to the realization that the work life I was waiting for may never arrive.  Changes are definitely not going to stop occurring and the work isn't going to slow down.  But I can't put off my health and fitness any longer.

And I've got people at work backing the knowledge that I must start living my life outside of work.  I've been given "permission" to start living.  Not that I really needed it, but I want to be good at my job.  But, I think at this point, getting back into my fitness groove is only going to improve my work situation.

So now, the next step is to get over the shame of how the last year and 8 months have gone.  I've made commitments I couldn't keep, I've gained all my weight back, and I've had to go back on all the medicines that I had been able to get off of once I started losing the weight.  And I'm back to looking like this:

But, I believe this is all part of the journey.  The failure would be if I still continued to let the shame of all these things prevent me from continuing.  Starting over.  That's what I'm doing.  Starting over.  

This is not a problem.  An inconvenience, yes.  Frustrating, yes.  It sucks, yes.  But, the problem would be if I didn't get back on track.  I think, for whatever reason, we begin to think that if we did not succeed the first time, we will not succeed ever in that endeavor.  

We forget that that part of things being hard is that we have plateaus.  We have setbacks.  If we didn't, these goals probably would not feel so gratifying.

So, this may or may not be my last comeback post.  I started working less hours a little while ago and making sure that I would be able to start leaving work at a reasonable time frame about a month ago.  I waited to make the post or announce a "comeback" to make sure that it really was possible. 

Is it possible that I will be thrown more obstacles.  Absolutely.  In fact, we might as well call this phase in my Journey, "Jennifer's Warrior Dash." Obstacles are going to happen.  I still have the same job, I would like to go back to school, and I have a sore foot that needs attention.  I'll work around it all.

This Tuesday, I'm returning to Weight Watchers.  Then on June 20th, I'm going to begin participation in a Boot Camp put on by Personal Trainers at Eastside, including my good friend Philicia Moll.  I'm very excited.  I think this group activity is exactly what I need to get back on track.

And I'm going to try to get at least one blog post in a week.  Hopefully more, but at least one every weekend.

So until next time, have a great week and remember......