Monday, December 2, 2013

So Open About Failure/12 POUNDS!

Yesterday I wrote my first blog post since August.  I've written less than 15 posts in 2013.  In 2011 I wrote 77 blog posts.

Before writing the post yesterday, I considered not doing it.  I thought to myself that maybe I should get started and if things really take off, then I'll start blogging again.

Some people think it's odd that I am so open about my weight loss journey.  I also think that there are some people that may have saw my post yesterday and thought at least 1 of a few things:

  1. Here we go again.
  2. She hasn't done anything in months, what can she have to write about?
  3. How can she be so open about failure?

I know that my actions haven't been behind my words of the desire to be healthier.  Unfortunately, the only thing I was putting where my mouth is was the food.

But I don't consider any of this failure.  A wall, yes.  Stumbling block, yes.  Hurdle, yes.  But failure, no.

The mistake we have all made in the past is to not take the steps to get where we need to be.  And having set backs is one of the steps....for some of us, 5 of the steps - maybe even more. 

Others I think wonder why I put this all out there because surely it is embarrassing to be at the stage I am now and need so desperately to get healthier.  Well, the answer to that is.....maybe a little bit. 

But, then I get an email like this one and I'm no longer embarrassed...I'm motivated. 

Hey Jennifer! I saw your posts today and wanted to say how happy I am for you. I KNOW that it is very emotional to hit that point and feel like you have to start over and that it needs to be done. I hit that point back in September at a doctor's visit. I knew that I had let my weight sneak back up and that I was always feeling miserable, but for someone else to see how much I weighed floored me. I came home and cried my eyes out and then made some decisions. I decided that I was tired of my body hurting, of being so tired, of not enjoying activities with my kids, of hating my clothes not to mention how uncomfortable they were, and the list goes on. But I was also tired of feeling like I had always failed. There is so much emotion behind everything we do. I had to face that I am definitely an emotional eater. "Having a bad day, let's bake brownies!" Lol! I had never thought if myself as someone that avoids things until I took a hard look at that. Anyway... my whole point of all of this is that I understand the emotional ups and downs and want you to know that you have my support! Find what works for YOU! I realized that I need someone to TELL me what to do. So I asked my doctor for help. I also know that I am a person that enjoys organization, so I made myself my own binder full of everything for my weight loss journey. And I decorated Cheezy I know, but it works for me! I plastered motivational quotes that I love all over it! And I have sections for measurements, food planning and recipes, spiritual wellness, papers from doctor visits, anything that is important to me regarding this. Be happy for yourself for making this decision! I am happy for you because I know how good it feels to start feeling proud of myself again. I want that for you as well.

What an awesome email.  I can't tell you how much it meant to me.  And it really points to the reason why I don't let embarrassment stop me from posting about my journey.  Because almost all of us have been on the same journey.  We've all thought we were ready and then made choices that said otherwise.  People hit THAT POINT at different time frames.  And like me, a lot of people had made great progress, just to slide backwards like they were on a steep rollercoaster.  But the only thing that says is that we know what to do to be successful. 

So, with that being said....I'm going to tell the world an embarrassing fact I discovered this morning...

Since I've started my new job, I've gained TWELVE POUNDS.  I haven't been in this new job for 3 full months!  If I wasn't serious yesterday when I said I was getting this thing started, sh&t got real today. 

Sunday, December 1, 2013

12 Faces of Jennifer

I have been on vacation for the past week and I've gotten so much done.  I have said before that I kind of run on beginnings and endings.  One of the things that I did on this vacation is finish my last assignment for my Philosophy class, my first semester back to school. 

The other thing I did was prepare for the beginning of my next phase in my fitness journey.  Technically, that phase is starting tomorrow when I also return to work. 

I would like to make a list why it is important to make the change that I'm seeking.  This way when I start to sway from my goal, I can look back at this post for a reminder of what I'm looking to accomplish.
  1. No more acid reflux (this goes as #1 simply because I am in so much pain RIGHT NOW because of it)
  2. Move better
  3. Better mood
  4. Lessen the chance of Diabetes
  5. Cuter clothes
  6. Less expensive clothes
  7. Feel accomplished
  8. Spend more time with my friends
  9. Not have to take so much medicine
  10. Just feel better overall
  11. Some other reasons that even this open book isn't willing to put in print
Today I'm starting a monthly tradition.  On the first of every month, I'm going to take a face picture.  Looking forward to seeing the progress.  I took it kind of spur of the moment today, so it isn't a great one.  But, that wasn't suppose to be the point anyway.