Friday, May 4, 2012

Regrets? New Beginnings?

I've spent the day thinking, reflecting, regretting, planning, strategizing....and the list could probably go on. 

Tomorrow is the day that I was SUPPOSED to run my first half marathon.  I registered for it at least 4 months ago (I'm thinking even longer than that).  I was supposed to start training for it in February.

But, as with the rest of my fitness, I put the training on hold due to my new job.  I had to stop and think, "If I do this, why am I doing it?"  I did want to do it, but I would have been doing it at this point simply because I said I was going to when others said I couldn't.  But I wouldn't be doing it because I was prepared.  And I decided I didn't want to risk injury.  I didn't want to prevent myself from training for other races like Steamboat and my marathon because I wasn't smart enough to say I wasn't ready for this one.  And, the half marathon was in Wisconsin, so it wouldn't be smart to get hurt there where it would be difficult for me to get home. 

I don't regret the time I've spent at work.  I am on a new account that needed (s) the time put into it.  I love what I'm doing, the people I work with, and feel greatly appreciated (most of the time).  My particular account/product isn't one that comes naturally to me, so I do have to put more prep time into it than others might.  At least for me to be comfortable.  And me being comfortable means a lot for my happiness and mood. 

I stand by something I said in either another blog post or possibly a Facebook post (quite honestly, I probably said it in both places) that it was okay to sacrafice my personal life a little bit for months, even maybe a year, if it meant then living easy and fullfilled for a lifetime. 

What I do regret is that part of what I sacraficed was my fitness which I had been finding great joy in improving.  I couldn't remember a time feeling better or having as much fun.  And the types of friendships I was making were incredibly different than any I had had before.

So, I've sat down with my Chalene Johnson Push book and I'm going to take a new look at my values and priorities.  Did they change?  Or did I just lose site of them?  Was my plan not good enough or did I just not follow it.  Did I not do enough to keep my priority statements the forefront in my mind.  I've read it recently and I still agree with it.  Do I need to do something different to keep myself reminded of it. 

What I know is that I loved how I felt when I was working hard towards my fitness goals. 

So, I'm going to sit back, read, and plan.  And the balance of work/fitness/life is going to be a little more equal going forward.