Part of the Journey

There are many of you that have been reading my blog since it started in February of 2011.  You've just waited a really long time since my last post.  Over a year in fact.  And it was in that one that I thought I was making a comeback.

There are many new people that have come into my life since that post on May 4, 2012, and really even before then since I hadn't blogged consistently since September of 2011.  So, for those that are new, here is the back-story.

Back in October of 2010, I looked like this:

I had always been someone who wasn't afraid to have their picture taken; in fact I had always liked it.  At this time I found that I had started to dread having a camera near me.

Because of this, the cause that my weight and health had on relationships, and things that I wanted to accomplish, I decided to set on a healthy path.  Read more about my decision to lose 100 pounds on my page, "Why Fitness?"

I did things like join Weight Watchers online, join the Riverplex and fall in love with Turbo Kick, 

ran my first race ever,

joined a woman's running club, 

and lead workout challenges

And all these things made me very successful.  By the time I ran The Steamboat Classic I had lost 50 pounds.  And eventually I looked like this:

From there I plateaued.  I gained and lost the same 3 pounds over and over again.  Then in October of 2011, I got a new job.  It required a lot of hours and I thought I was doing good by putting those hours in.  I felt that this was temporary; if I put in the needed time (a lot of time) in the beginning the time when things would become easier and less hours being needed would come faster.

Problem was, things didn't become easier and things didn't slow down.  My job is ever changing and I spend 98% of my scheduled hours up in front of a class training.  I am on stage 100% of that time.  This does not leave time in the normal work day to become familiar with changes and do the everyday administrative tasks.  

I have, however, come to the realization that the work life I was waiting for may never arrive.  Changes are definitely not going to stop occurring and the work isn't going to slow down.  But I can't put off my health and fitness any longer.

And I've got people at work backing the knowledge that I must start living my life outside of work.  I've been given "permission" to start living.  Not that I really needed it, but I want to be good at my job.  But, I think at this point, getting back into my fitness groove is only going to improve my work situation.

So now, the next step is to get over the shame of how the last year and 8 months have gone.  I've made commitments I couldn't keep, I've gained all my weight back, and I've had to go back on all the medicines that I had been able to get off of once I started losing the weight.  And I'm back to looking like this:

But, I believe this is all part of the journey.  The failure would be if I still continued to let the shame of all these things prevent me from continuing.  Starting over.  That's what I'm doing.  Starting over.  

This is not a problem.  An inconvenience, yes.  Frustrating, yes.  It sucks, yes.  But, the problem would be if I didn't get back on track.  I think, for whatever reason, we begin to think that if we did not succeed the first time, we will not succeed ever in that endeavor.  

We forget that that part of things being hard is that we have plateaus.  We have setbacks.  If we didn't, these goals probably would not feel so gratifying.

So, this may or may not be my last comeback post.  I started working less hours a little while ago and making sure that I would be able to start leaving work at a reasonable time frame about a month ago.  I waited to make the post or announce a "comeback" to make sure that it really was possible. 

Is it possible that I will be thrown more obstacles.  Absolutely.  In fact, we might as well call this phase in my Journey, "Jennifer's Warrior Dash." Obstacles are going to happen.  I still have the same job, I would like to go back to school, and I have a sore foot that needs attention.  I'll work around it all.

This Tuesday, I'm returning to Weight Watchers.  Then on June 20th, I'm going to begin participation in a Boot Camp put on by Personal Trainers at Eastside, including my good friend Philicia Moll.  I'm very excited.  I think this group activity is exactly what I need to get back on track.

And I'm going to try to get at least one blog post in a week.  Hopefully more, but at least one every weekend.

So until next time, have a great week and remember......